Relationship Issues and Communication

No relationship is perfect and conflict is inevitable.  It’s how it’s handled that brings people together or tears them apart. Poor communication skills can be a source of anger and distancing, emotional ups and downs, frequent arguments, betrayal, affairs, and disagreements over basic issues such as children, money, sex or time.

Learning effective communication skills helps create a more positive outcome when dealing with conflicts. The goal of effective communication should be mutual understanding and finding a solution with which you are both happy.

• Listen: Don’t get defensive, and let your partner finish talking before you speak.
• Stay focused: Stay with the present and don’t bring up past conflicts.  Focus your energy on understanding each other and finding a solution.
• Take time to see it from their point of view.
• Admit when you’re wrong.
• Compromise: Healthy communication means finding a solution that both sides can be happy with.
• Take a break if a discussion becomes a fight.

Get help if you need it. If you cannot resolve a conflict respectfully, or the situation is getting worse, you may benefit from a few sessions with a couples therapist. Relationship counselling is generally intended to preserve a relationship. If, however, serious abuse or infidelity is involved, a therapist may recommend ending the relationship. Generally, a relationship counselor will help each partner communicate their needs and thoughts, and listen more carefully to the other partner. The therapist supports the couple and helps them in developing goals like “stop fighting,” or “staying together.”

Licensed marriage and family therapists are available to provide support and guidance for those seeking help moving past relationship and communication issues.