Self Esteem Counselling and Therapy

Self-esteem is a psychological term that reflects a person’s evaluation of his or her own worth. Many factors make up how you feel about yourself: Do you respect yourself? Do others? How do you feel about your strengths and weaknesses?  How is your self- image?  Can you make your own decisions? Low self-esteem builds on negative thinking.  You believe the criticism of others and don’t speak up for yourself.  You are hypersensitive to criticism and have an exaggerated fear of mistakes.  Temporary setbacks appear to be permanent and intolerable.  You have a negative outlook and feel hostility and irritability with no specific cause.  You dwell on past mistakes.

High self-esteem is the opposite.  You feel good about yourself, happy and confident. You are secure enough to defend your values and principles and trust your own judgement.  You consider yourself equal to others and are confident in the choices you make.  You do not lose sleep worrying about the past or what may happen in the future.  You are able to learn from the past and plan for the future while living in the present.

Life experiences are a major source of self-esteem development.  Positive or negative life events create attitudes that can be favorable or unfavorable.  Unconditional love from parents is an important factor for a child to develop a sense of being cared for and respected.  These feelings translate to positive self-esteem as the child grows up. In teenage years, peer influence becomes very important.  Social acceptance creates high self-esteem while rejection creates self-doubt and low self-esteem. 

Being listened to, spoken to respectfully, praised for accomplishments, and having failures acknowledged and accepted help build healthy self-esteem. Being criticized, ignored, teased, and physically, sexually or emotionally abused, all lead to low self-esteem.

Healthy self-esteem is vital to living life to its potential.  It impacts how you think, feel and act towards others.  Low self-esteem means poor self-confidence. It is the core of many illnesses such as depression, substance abuse, parenting problems, stress and frequent illness.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, there are many strategies for coping: yoga, acupuncture, diet, massage, stress management, counseling, group work and relationship therapy. Qualified therapists are available  to help you develop strategies for building a positive future.